For the love of mommy

Wow, I completely missed posting last month! Would you believe me if I said I was picked up in the middle of the light by some aliens? No? Well then, bully for you for not believing a cock and bull story like that. Just don’t ask MEwhat happened to me last month…I’m just old and forgetful like that I suppose.

Now, onto today’s post. My apologies that after so long and I’m posting about something personal that probably won’t be of much help. It has been on my mind for a while now, but I feel I’m finally at a good place in my life that making a change is now acceptable.

A little back story: I have always struggled with my weight. My first memory of being made fun of for my weight is fourth grade by an evil little red headed beauty named Sara Seitz, by the way Sara, if your reading this, I still think you suck for that. So, like I said….all my life. So I know that a lot of this is genetics, but that doesn’t make it impossible, only more difficult.
Back in 2008 I signed up with Quick Weight Loss Centers and on a 4 year journey I lost my goal weight (and then some!) and was into a size 4 (even smaller actually, as the 4’s were getting big, but it didn’t last long enough for me to buy a smaller size) which truly proved to me that it WAS possible and I could beat the odds regardless of my genetic coding. However it was not to last. In May 2011 I discovered I was expecting my first child, something that meant the world to me, as it was something we didn’t think would ever happen for us. As you can imagine, I wanted to do everything right and risk nothing to protect my newly forming babe. When I went to my next QWLC visit, I explained that I was expecting and the girl looked at me with such horror and told me I had to get off plan as it wasn’t healthy for my growing child. As you can imagine this was about the scariest thing I could hear, so I stopped everything that I was doing, had been doing for four years and foolishly did….well, the opposite of all that. I discovered during this time that is next to zero books available strictly on pregnancy nutrition.
While I did have a slightly higher than normal weight gain throughout my pregnancy I stayed within a healthy range…… until the last month and a half. (because my littles was just way to comfy eating like the Queen of Sheba that she decided to wait an extra couple of weeks). That last month and a half were horrible. I couldn’t even tell you how much weight I gained, but I just suddenly blew up. Nothing fit, I was a hormonal wreck, I just wanted to get that baby out!to keep my baby safe and happy so I carried on as unstressed as possible, which was very difficult at times. I told myself I would start dieting immediately after baby arrived and gave myself 9 months to lose the weight, it took 9 months to put it in, so that was a realistic expectation, right? Wrong. I failed to factor in that I would have the most precious thing in the world to take care of and that she wouldn’t allow me sufficient time to meal plan, cook meals that required more that 5 minutes prep time, oh yeah, and sleep. So there I was, your typical frazzled new mom trying to do everything right for her child and never giving up hope of eventually feeling secure that I was doing it “right”.

“Oh yeah!” I realized 6 months later, I was going to try and do something about this weight! Ha! It’s now been 18 months and I’ve lost total 30lbs since dd (dear daughters) arrival. i failed to mention that I gained around 100lbs during my pregnancy. So yeah. Time to fix that. Now that dd is older and more independent and I no longer feel the need to check that she’s breathing in the middle of the night (just kidding…I still do, and probably will when she’s 16 too) I feel that now is a good time for me to gradually start taking back a little of my time. She will ofcourse continue to be my sole focus, but I think I can manage things a bit more without feeling like she is having to deal with less mommy love. I may never be a size 4 again, but I would take getting out of sizes that begin with an X at this point. I’ll be starting a new blog focusing on my weight loss journey with all the sordid details that I will link back to here shortly for those that are interested. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

UPDATE: My other Blog is now up, and can be found at www.fortheloveofmommy.wordpress.com  It is blank at the moment as ittle bits woke up before I could put up my firsts post 🙂

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Step 1- Admitting you have a problem | My Journey to Losing the Baby Weight

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